1:59 p.m. - 2001-07-27
I should STOP.
Moby listed his favorite things in his web site.
He likes onions, Joh Lennon's Imagine.
A very 'fitting' song.
Imagine Maybe it would be better if people paired with people who they see reflections of themself in and in most cases those to will not like each other at first site. That is why 'highschool sweethearts' stay together longer because they know each other's indepth and they have a true knowledge of that person because they spend so much time with them in most cases and they get a feel for their opinios of things based on their reactions to the various stimulus going on in the environment of school. There are many different characteristics in the school setting but then it is sometimes not fitting for everyone though because some people were brought up differently. I think like Tabitha for instance the school setting if not the school work are more easily adapted for her because she came up from a family of 6 or 7 before Uncle James left and she was adapted to fenning for herself esepcially with other males in the house. But joel is raised with women i see his aversion to this other boy Keith I think of Ken or something and he spends a lot of time iwth him. Once Joel was tlaking and he couldn't distinguish the male figures; Steven versus Damian that was worryting but I can't the world is to diverse and to worry or bother about any of this is frivoulous and not worth the time. That is why the advent of different solutions for mind matters in the human technological era is frivolous they can't solve all of these thinsg because the human mind can't be solved. They all boil down esssentially to 'treatments' that make the human animal a zombie they all are essentially the same. They have to pince and go down to the milli molecula but they are only hurting themself and not helping anyone trying to understand those things that can't be changed at all. It is sad to think of all of the people they have closed in on such as Tam I think they closed in on Tam and she spiraled down which she did NOT have to do at all not Tam Tam was stronger that that I mean she did not even have to go there at all. No one should she had more than they ever had or I m not sure if they ever will. It is odd though. It is unfair and does not make sense. I have a feeling that her dady does not miss her and that her mother misses her for unsoulftul reasons. Now to think of it her sister smiled at me at hte funeral and said,"Thanks for coming" as if it was a baby shower or something that was uplifting; she was putting her sister away but the fact that she is a college student maybe after college she will find out that the baby sister she left four years back is gone and come to think of it her baby sister is dead and can't come back again. The whole thing was a waste her father did not even cry at the funeral until he put his daughter into the ground and even then it was a forced mourning. And he was sto rushed to tell us to leave he was like, "Go home now, don't talk" What in the world was he thinking? He left his daughter like that in the ground.? I wander if I called would he have any remembrance of his daughter I wonder if he's forgotten Tam yet I wander if her mother still cries. Her sister Dinh told me that it is not good to hole things in she was telling me taht that was good of her but why didn't she tell her sister that when she found out she was in the hospital. Why indeed didn't any of her family members visit her. I think Tam's family had been geting the first hand for the whole time and what she did was to slap them in the face. Her brother Tung did not cry he appeared to be angry. They did not show emotion maybe the anger that was evident in Tam's demeanor. I wish I could tell Tam that I was there at her side when we buried you. And I did not want you to go down into the ground either. You were there Tam but I could not talk to her. She was so still and she looked so still and she was gone. And then the budhhist monks did all of their rituals and Tam was still still and she didn't move and she was there by herself she would not have done that at all if she was alive. O hman. And now she is gone. I was telling daddy that the dead should be mourned for for life. It is not right.