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9:51 a.m. - 2001-08-04
Trying to Bring Equality
I went to work today. One thing I have notice mommy has started to pray for me more and in a more urgent way since it seems like i know which way is up now. And even Hannah asked me to pray withg her yesterday i mean thgis morning mommr prayed w/. me last night and this morning and daddy tried to get into the bathroom while iw as still in there it was 7:45 a.m. and they have to be at church at like 9:30 a.m. so that was incongruous.Daddy had dinner last night came out to the table again where he had left his dirty plate and started palying with his mother fucking styrofoam off!!!

Last night I was listening to Moby with hannah's earphones and she said Lydia I want to listent ot music, i ignored her...that statement is not saying she is going to listent to music if things could only be settled peacefully...she was reading her bible (at that) but that isn't the matter with the situation she did not look to resolve the situation so we both could be satisfied. I stood waiting for her to make a resolution: You can use the other earphones (that I had shown her that they work) and I (hannah) could listen to Fred Hammond on my cd player. She tries to make things difficult for herself she turns everything into a target against her. Maybe it is masochism: (or just part of the human nature that is so skewed)

Main Entry: mas·och·ism

Pronunciation: 'ma-s&-"ki-z&m, 'ma-z&- also 'mA-

Function: noun

Etymology: International Scientific Vocabulary, from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch died 1895 German novelist

Date: circa 1893

1 : a sexual perversion characterized by pleasure in being subjected to pain or humiliation especially by a love object -- compare SADISM

2 : pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering



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