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4:40 p.m. - 2005-01-19
I'm listening to Hey Jude by the Beatles, Paul McCartney. Damn I feel sad I just called Avi and he didnít want to talk to me but said he would call me back .I really wan ted his address for Florida. Dang I wanted his information so we could hook up and get to know one another. Well the opportunity is still their we will still talk to each other even if he is in Florida I am not going to let his move change one f***** thing it will be ok. We will get to know each other over time even though he will move to Florida back to his family. But right now at this instant I am a bit concerned about myself I am feeling a bit shakey as to ways to continue to make myself happy. Calling Avi has been my happiness and hopping on the internet has been my way to get through the days ordering or making wish lists for Target Walmart Body Shop and the Bath and Body WorksÖwill he call me back? Gosh! It is so riveting I want him to actually call me back. But then I promised him I would call him back when I called him firstÖOho, mommy she would call this foolishness but oh it isnít I donít feel like going to dinner anway itís not like Roy or Bill are thereÖthey give me a sense of sanity dignity and fufill my lust partÖI think Roy looks handsome especially when he is walking but let me shut up Iím in the same place as the people I am typing about (Roy and Bill)ÖI wish I could just stay somewhere with AVI live and enjoy life love it all. Have little Aviís. Heíll write me and send me his picture I will see to it that he does We will have a long distance relationship that will last and we will probably get closer over time. Will he get a girlfriend in Florida?
I will probably marry Avi because our love is so difficult now. Heís so sweet. Heís just the best as soon as he gets enough money we will probably get married. In fact as soon as he gets enough money we will probably get married. In fact as soon as he gets enough money we will get married. As soon as Avi gets enough money we will get married. I felt right sleeping next to him on the bus. I felt so right resting my head on his shoulder on the bus. He kept on nudging my knee I didnít say anything when he did so. Aviís face is so architect. It is so pretty and chiseledÖa real man. He has a square jaw and a big nose and rich dark black hair. I will marry Avi. Avi will marry me. Iím listening to more than a woman by Aaliyah. I was thinking how Avi said black women are intelligent did he mean me? Answer, yes! Thatís why I like him heís so nice. Letís pray he is awake tonight when I call him.



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