3:09 p.m. - 2005-04-30
I am just listening to “Look What You’ve Done” by the JET(s). Today the money group at TREE went to Jamaica Plain, Centre St. to look at banks and stuff. I bought JET’s “Get Born” for $12.59 a good deal to say the least. Then we took the white van there and back and had fun. I wish I had a sweet boyfriend who I could share everything with. I saw what at least appeared to be cute boys who I could go out with if given the chance. Anyway we got back and I ate some tootsie roll pops and had some ice water and thought a little bit about something I thought about Dr. MacMillan said about me. Yesterady I heard him speaking to Barbara and it seemed like he said “She (me) looks sickc). So it had been bothering me all last night granted the dream I had had the previous night abouit Dr. Macmillan of hugging him tightly on a bus going to his town where he lives supposedly at least that’s the impression I got it was going toward--his town. SO I decided to talk to him today. I said “hello Dr. Macmillan” and he said “hi” I said “can I speak to you “ and he said quickly for a minute and I said “ I need to speak to you about something” and he said “sure we can go I’m headed out” and I said “I want to talk to you privately and he said “Oh” and I said “In your office” and he said “sure” and offered me a seat in his office and I sat down and started the speech I had been rehearsing in my mind and in my mouth…”Many times in the communicating world things are misunderstood or said wrong” and he agreed “Yes” and I said “I must have misheard you saying I look sick” and with a series of conversational “gestures” (statements) he said “I didn’t say that about you Lydia” All the while looking cute and boyish with his mouth and teeth. He is very cute I think. So we finished talking and he went to the nurses station. I said to him before leaving his presence..”Please do not tell your colleagues what I Told you” he said sharply and assuredly “No!” (How promising and sweet) I felt this warm and fuzzy feeling leaving his office. I felt very close to him. I want a hug from Dr. Macmillan he is sooo cute and extremely handsome. Granted he is married I don’t know if it would be a lovey hug or a patient encouragement hug. His daughter or son is or will be (whichever) lucky to have him as a father.
In other news, I wish I could just leave here. I’m tired of me taking advantage of me at the TREE program and on my unit saying hi etc. etc acting luvy dubby. I HATE IT. I wish they could all be like Dr. MacMillan respectful and nice. There is a medical student here he is very nice. He has brown hair he’s cute. I forgot his name. And a Vietnamese medical student he’s cute to ….nguyhnen is his name partly spelled wrong.,,
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