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8:50 p.m. - 2005-05-11
write this entry later...and May 16, 2005 entry
I've just been thinking I never had problems with F until I was like 9 or 10. I started that bit of my life. It's like I made a schedule for it: at night. You decide whether it was bad or not..............FORGER IT I'm GONNA HAVE TO WRITE THIS ENTRY LATER ok i'm b ack 5 minutes later.I hope I haven't lost sense to feel. I haven't I know I haven't. I'm just sitting here with my iced tea and my pencil and paper. I'm thinking about how I have a secret admirance for BB Well I'm back and it's Monday 16, 2005. A lot happened. I went to a walk called NAMI walks on Saturday. It was 3 miles it took an hour. My schedule has been fool. I hope I don't get restricted. And DM came back to day looking tres chic. And BB is still here looking tres bon. I spoke to daddy and he said that he would get a extension cord for my room in so few words... YES!! Not to get my hopes up too high but so I will be able to play Gamecube in my room. I feel kind of jittery. About BB and if I should tell him I like him. Plus to add more pressure Alison is supposed to be getting test results for her kidney infection. AND AND AND....I have great hopes because I will attend the Massaschusetts Rehabilitation Commision Orientation. I will start going to school this September. PLUS mommy, daddy and hannah will God willing be moving out of our house by the end of this month. I have hopes dreams and aspirations. They will come true. I just feel like I am in the small box now. The big box will be coming. I PRAY PRAY PRAY that I can meet w/ Mark Kearns my Social Worker about how I will be going to Mass Rehab on Saturday for my orientation and how daddy will be picking me up. Pray that it goes well. Do I feel too confident. I feel scared now....Does my confidence belie me? How confident are other people. Who has the greatest confidence in the world. Who is strongest? Does control equate power? Does power equate strength? So does control equate strentght GOTTA RUN!



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