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9:19 a.m. - 2001-07-21
I am at the lab now at work more or less. Today is the Sabbath and I went to mommy and daddy's house last night. They weren't welcoming to me because it was the Sabbath and I was breaking the Sabbath by coming into the house on the Sabbath to pack up my bags and everything.

If there was someone in the world dumb enough; c'est serai (would be) moi.

Mommy got extremely upset this morning after getting her rest she said it is not right (rolling her r) I rebuke that spirit that makes you come in on the Sabbath and to break it that way. Daddy always tries to justify in his mind what he wants me to be as does mommy. hannah doesn't care less though nothing can be said for that. The bad or sad thing that cna be said is that daddy said that he was my Daddy, like that is supposed to fufill whatever conceptions about me that he has. Can't humans learn from animals. When a baby animal is grown they leave home immediatly this sickening, 'instiution ' that humans have construid of making their children stay at home for a long time after they are born is foolish. A baby has the potential they just take away its lpotential. And why do humans try to control so much have so much control over thinsg it seems like now they want more control over things and that the control factor will get 'worse' you could say over the years. Over the next few years. It is not good thoiugh it is going to be very odd i nthe future i wander what it wll be like if i am still in life if i am still a breathing human-being then or otherwise i will be dead and 'gone'.

I'm listening to MOB-E. He says: In my dreams I'dying all the time and when I wake up kalaidoscopic mind I never meant to hurt you I never meant to lie; so this is GOOD-BYE, this is GOOD-BYE.

He calls it Porcelain. Porcelain is hard undurable and unflexible. Porcelain is a slap in the face.

I want to know what he means.



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