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2:15 p.m. - 2001-07-24
Some One To Hug and Not from Bethel
Naomi went with Rick to New York today at 2:00 they should be leaving on their airplan a ce moment ci. I hope they enjoy their time there. This morning however, I heard them discussing how Sheryl Sis. Pinnocks daughter and her husband went to Jamaica just so she could see a former love and that that marriage is not good because they only invested in a really nice wedding but their 'relations' are horrible. I feel naomi and ricks relationship wont last naomi has a lot of energy but rick is just trailing there and he gets the little things he wants to buy. But I feel like their relationship is compmletely a physcial relationship.

Moby believes in the saving of the environment. Humans do not know how they are destroying their environment. It ried to speak to Hannah about God and the Sabbath for some reason it is instilled in her. It is so horrible the way things get instilled in people particularly or rather actually things that do not benefit the human at all in any way things that have negative impacts and dull implications on their happiness and potential levels of joy in the world. I hope that one day I meet someone who is like Tam i know Tam can't come back I really wish she could she was very important but now I am left on this earth to be here and to be. Tam and I could have talked about so many different things about life she was such an important human. I think there are some h umans that just have the bare minimum level of inquiry and that makes them the most profound as the human word dfor that nature/character is person. They ar the ones that help the world in its confusion. So many do not want to conform.

Moby is happy I hope. He seems very into his singing and advertising of the good in saving the environment. Last night I was playing Natural Blues on the Computer and daddy heard it and he said turn it down your mother is trying to sleep. So many families are so close because they get to know one another while others remain strangers for years. Now i wander how Ms. Bates' family reunion finally turned out it should have been this past weekend or rahter it will be this weekend and her brother, Brother (son nom) is getting married and having his reception in combination with the family reunion.

I have a knowledge what the people at Bethel will tell me the basics that God is there for you and I feel like they are being burdened with the reactions they should have toward a lamb that has gone astray. I hope that Bethel gets with it one day but statistics are telling me they wont.

I hope Patrice becomes a happy young woman and old woman she is a very energetic yougn lady and she is special as well she has a lot of potential when I saw her at the funeral I was so glad to have some one to hug at that moment. The society has really really gone on a lot that is to say many things have progressed Hannah was saying that things have progressed 'just like it said in the Bible' I think the human mind will continue to escalate but I still can't dismiss the feeling that thte human is a defunct and really 'messed' up animal. The human brain has the section for talking and hearing and they are all connected to the areas for talking and hearing just like any other animal. I also wonder what are the implications of a fly landing on me a fly lands on me every so often even if I move he just sits there I wander if he is looking at me with his wonder compound eyes. Yesterday when I went to Aunt Meggy's house when Naomi went to get her hairtaken out so she could get it permed at Maureen's house (i know that sounds commmon commonalities and yearnings....hmmmm?????) I noticed how blank Aunt Meggey was towards me I feel like I was reaching part of her but now I think it is the same again I hope she feels better one day maybe when all of her children are gone from her roof away from her house but I think each of her children are individuals to her they advise her she was leaving hte house and faith demanded in a 'motherly' tone where are you going? And she looked up with a scared look on her face and replied,'Mother Goudlbourne'. I feel that real love for someone is vested with the avidity of communication the yearn to communicate. No one from Bethel has offered that save for Sis. Chambers. It is as if it was a facade before I left and daddy started truncating a lot of shit as it seemed many were 'talking' to me it sukced though because it was as if they were attempting to express the feelings that come with the urge and the obligation to reach the young people of the world and tell them of God and help them bakc to the straight and narrow way if they seem to be diverging in any fashion. Brother Bailey has not called me at all I don't want to speak to him but this says a lot about the validity of those things he was telling me before I went to ohio. Daddy does not care for my safety as does not many or anyone anyone is for themself all humans are selfish even the 'most unselfish' unassuming person. They are all that way. Humans should learn from animals. In addition , I dont' think the Bible is that good of a guide I mean Moby said that Christ was good with trying to show a better way to lead the people into self understanding but the parts of wars being predicted and such like are just frivolous. And it is sad to know the number of trees waisted to produce the bounties of literature that support all of the aspects of the bible the christians deem as valid according to how they want to shape its validity in accordance with their own yearnings and hopes for their own life styles and the success of their lifestyles;humans are 'selfish'.



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